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Thursday, August 15, 2013
Philophobia.
Start blogging because I'm so effing bored. You noe. Zzz. Things for this few days has been normal, when get you busy, you get real busy, but when you're free, you're so damn free. No luh, actually I've things to do, but i hate doing it, so i'm taking my own sweet time to do, since it's not urgent either right. Physical things has been simple, easily, wake up, work, go back home, eat, watch tv, sleep, next day same process again. But emotionally things has been getting more and more complicated.
I'm in a damn damn damn damn damn bad dilemma. Seriously. You people can survive like that ? I dun think i can, seriously. Well, but, closer then friends, less then couple, to think again, isn't it quite good also ? People that dun understands me, thinks I'm 18 and yet because of emotion stuffs, i went back down to 12 years old. But the fact is, normal stuffs, i can behave @ 18. But when it comes to love, relationships, i seriously dropped back to 12 years old. I'm weak and stupid in all this.
When Bryan mum ask me, ' You and him what now ? ' I understand the mum is trying to ask, what relationship are we now ? Friends ? Or couple ? I answered the mum ' I also dunno what we are now, it's way to complicated. ' The reason why i would say this is because, I myself feel that, at times, we're like couples, but at times, we're just like normal friends, I, myself also dunno what we're @ now. How could i answer her ?
As for him, things has been getting from bad to worst, dunno how to solve and dunno how to face it either. Just wanna run away, as far as i can. But i'm glad, at least he cared, he asked why I didn't meet them after i know what was going on. Yes, because i dun dare to, because i'm afraid that i could fall deeper and deeper, i can't behave like him, treat it as nothing happen. But, i do miss him, real lots, the mum told Bryan that, ' Which girl like my son, ask her come and find me first. ' For a moment, i feel like taking Bryan's phone and call the mum and said, ' Aunty, I'm the girl who like your son, would you like to meet up ? ' For a moment, i really really feel like doing that.
Stupid uh ? I noe also. Well, dun feel like talking anymore, BYE.