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Long since i posted anything to blog, i should put it as, long since i last blogged. Start blog back because i realise, i need something to vent my sadness and everything too, i can't depend on people to be there for me to let me rant all my stuffs. Had a big quarrel with Ruiming today, which is what i didn't wan most and what i dun expect most.

4 years past and i've been waiting for you blindly for 4 years and you dun even appreciate at all. Which really upset me. Can't you see the effort i put in to tolerate your 1 word reply ? Can't you see the effort i put in to save our relationship ? I wanted to restart everything again from friends, but there you are thinking everytime i ask you just is to be back with you and limited my choices. Must i ask you out everytime because i wanna be back with you ? Can't i ask you out as a friend ? I've been trying to do that and there you are, thinking i'm doing it because i wanna get you bank. WTF. 

Just fucking tell me, which girl could want to spend their fucking time, wasting her own fucking youth just to fucking hell wait for a guy that she know he'll fucking never come back ? You only know how to say, ' No, i dun wan to try, i'll never get back with you. ' But do you noe that i'm the fucking one who has to suffered ? Do you noe how much fucking tears this girl had cried for you ? Do you noe how much fucking scars she got and how much fucking blood she lose because of you ? Do you noe how fucking much tolerating this girl has put on you ? Do you noe how fucking much effort this girl had wasted on you. You won know. 

You'll just be the fucking judge by your fucking self and then told me that, you did that because it's for my own fucking and and it'll make me feel better. In what fucking ways ? By chasing me out of your life, will i be even happier ? By pushing me away, will i be even happier ? By deciding all by yourself, will i be even happier ? WHAT THE FUCK are you even thinking in the first place ? And you say i'll regret ? Yes, i regretted doing those stupid stuffs to you that broke our relationship, but in this 4 years, i've never once regretted waiting for you. I know what i wan and what i'm doing, clearly. 

You can say i'm immature being like this, but i'm not, this is call ' Fighting for what i wan. ' Nobody people would get defeated knowing they stand no chances, but i'm different, but for me, i tried, i didn't give up all along, which is good enough for you. Who can do it ? And one day, when you're lonely, you'll definitely look back and realise that you had me, but you lose it, that's when you'll regret.

Get this fucking clear, despite all the quarrels today and we agree not to contact each other anymore, i still love you, like i do.

Went down to 509 during 10 plus with mummy, celebrating New Year with her friends and went back home around 2 plus. Followed Mervin on Twitter then realise he actually mind me following him, deciding to unfollow but he somehow like being nice and bad and nice and bad, dunno what he's trying to do. Weird people around me nowadays are getting more and more. _|_ Go to bed, goodnight.